Changes

I liked pretending you guys gave a shit about me. 

But it's okay, I give a shit about me. 

Sorry

There are holes in my heart that cannot be filled with my own blood but by that of those who still reside there. Who took their shovels to my bones and worked their ways into my protected home and found a place to sit so warm that they would decide to stay there even after they decided to leave.

Evil is a man made invention, it does not exist in nature.

Nature is beautiful at 

roots, are foundations for life. 

It does not grow or bloom or call or breath with ill intent, 

branches after all are built for, 

nests are made of,

 twigs are small for beaks.

 Fish have fins to help them swim in, seas are homes to many who feed on, fish will migrate into, 

lakes bathe bears and cubs. 

Wind is older than, 

red woods house the squirrels that feed on, 

nuts fit perfectly into, 

their cheeks are big enough for seeds. The mole was not made for, 

the ground was made for the shrew the mouse the fox the badger, 

the mole owns, a nose can smell its way to safety from, 

storms nourish the plains grazing crowd. 

Nothing was by accident if it is by nature we can feel with nothing but our, hearts exist in, 

nature is our, 

home, 

welcome. 

For Grandpa

This isn't about the fact that you died, it's just the time.

You let me choose from the walls of your mind one beautiful part that would be mine. You put your trust in me when I was only nine to pick the piece of you that would hang in my room to love while you were still alive.

Grandpa, how did you know to let me decide, and why?

These are the things that pull my strings and yes I mean my heart. Like the way you reminded me I had one. Like the purple glories that remind us it is morning. Or our dogs who won't forget to tell us when someone's knocking. Like the stories in movies that conclude in deeper meanings.

You reminded me.

With the slight of your brush you painted me a story.
The only problem is you never told me.

I can see the berry and the door and the bright striped orange walls but you didn't show me, what you saw when this piece was your glory.

Your genius came with no manual.

Grandpa, did you mean for me to decide?

Perhaps observing this portion of you is much more of an introspective process. Perhaps you intended for me to make personal progress.

Grandpa, how did you know I would need this now?

How did you know the gregarious ways of your isolation? How did you know that youth is a basket slowly woven only to be filled with the marbles that need recollecting, how did you know you would lose them?

You gave me more freedom than the claim our country clings to. You let me make myself, like you made up the walls that surrounded you. You showed me truth, as if it existed beyond our textbooks. You pulled me to a more glorious horizon, than the gale of a glen in ancient Ireland.

How did you know you were ready to abandon your beard and return to the great glowing state, like our favorite wizard on the stallion off to battle?

How did you know I was ready to handle? And not like the grips of my bicycle but like a mothers bleeding thoughts of a son who's only a piece of this wars many cattle.

Like you knew I would be okay with growing away from home, and that this beautiful piece that hung on the walls of your mind would help me be alone.
All my unanswered questions are a building storm, greater than the ones that hit New Orleans and Rome. And yet it's like you knew there was a calm to this blow, and by the art you created you'd show me the absence of cold and the glory of one.

I want to know what you thought when this piece was not mine but merely a plan for the walls of your mind like a blueprint for skyscrapers to climb, or the seas of inevitable tide, like those incarcerated and prepared on the stand to look them in the eyes while they lie, I want to know if my guesses were right.

But perhaps that's the beauty of unanswered questions. Or the glory of your legacy.

Grandpa, how did you know?

Wackness Now

Never was the stress about approval.

Never was the fear on public thought.

Always I was scared of those who loved me. 

That how they chose to see me I was not. 

Never did I veer away from loveless. 

For always I would choose to love myself.

Never have I worried about lonely.

But without you my heart's left on the shelf.

Growing up is nothing to be scared of.

These old lines show life's own history. 

Death doesn't trap my nightmares like a child.

Pain doesn't make a skeptic out of me. 

The future though is something so unheard of.

Anticipation is usually afraid. 

misunderstanding what lies before us.

These thoughts to rest I know they must be laid. 

Never has a purpose put a hinder

upon this journey I know to be my own. 

For significance is really just a story

we're told so we don't die feeling alone. 

Never will I have to fear this being

Never will I question what I am

but in this world we can't help but comparing

as long as I am nothing close to them. 

This sprawl is really much more scary 

than any foolish object with a stare. 

Not worried will I be for my own safety

just fearful of the drone they breed and wear. 

Rationality is most of what's in question

When I think about the dreaded settled way

To be what shapes the general picture

Is away from where I know I'd like to stay. 

Never will I let the fear control me

or stop what I know must be done.

In time afraid will find itself lonely

I will not be the sheltered one. 

Understanding, by Harper

"Let us burn one

from end to end

and pass it over

to me my friend

burn it long, we'll burn it slow

to light me up before I go

if you don't like my fire

then don't come around

cause I'm gonna burn one down

yes I'm gonna burn one down

my choice is what I choose to do

and if I'm causing no harm

it shouldn't bother you

your choice is who you choose to be

and if your causin' no harm

then you're alright with me

if you don't like my fire

then don't come around

cause I'm gonna burn one down

yes I'm gonna burn one down

herb the gift from the earth

and what's from the earth

is of the greatest worth

so before you knock it try it first

you'll see it's a blessing

and its not a curse

if you don't like my fire

then don't come around

cause I'm gonna burn one down

yes I'm gonna burn one down"

      -Ben Harper

"Proud to be an American"

Convince yourself of an absent autonomy

After developing submission to a censored society

Adhering to norms is simply surviving for truth is ungiven in this world we live in just follow tradition. 

Through our ego is success and success is the dream,

Morality is truant when it's time to achieve.

Careless is essential if compassion hinders ourself, though in real it is not real it's everything to fight for.

With closed eyes and ears our mind pretends to see and hear the things we are fed anyway.

Too look beyond the lines we've drawn is too taboo to ponder. 

And yet we wonder.

But repression kicks at the first sign of thought and so this conditioning is born. We make ourselves but it was predisposed and not by some celestial power with in which our universe is the very thought of, but by misguidance in the name of such used by those all around us.

The easy way out is through what we do with our time when everything is good, what's to consider? 

This Earth is healthy

School taught us what we know

The animals have no senses 

They're meant for our uses

You're meant for my service

My pleasure

You're meant for my anger 

The bad things weren't real

Just examples

We won every time 

This food is natural

This package says 'real'

These meds are helpful

We need this industry

This book is good

This church is true 

This life is ideal

This life is mine 

I am free

I am an American

And we meant it, and we liked it. and so they have us. 

Love Observed

He thought I loved 

myself and thought

and so it came to be

he loved he thought 

more than himself

and now he loves for me

He thought his thought 

could choose to love 

as easy as can be

Though  love and thought 

may intertwine

they'll separate for we

I thought my love 

could grow and shrink 

but so I came to find 

my thoughts on love 

were nothing more 

than products of my mind 

But hearts have not 

the choice of thought

they simply have to feel 

and love I've found 

in just this way

is oh so very real 

                                      

         God and the Devil are the same 

The Anti-Sprawl

"I'm happy just because I found out I am really no one" - C.O.

 

What I find more meaningful to my exsitence than any predisposed plan recited to me by someone I was conditioned to believe had the knowledge, 

Is the absolute absense of purpose in life. 

I don't live for a reason, or a plan, my life sheds no meaning on the big picture aside from the fact that I am a minuscule part of it. 

And in this fact I find comfort. 

To live for no one grants the freedom to live for oneself, in the highest quality because it is decided on such a personal level no organization could provide. 

Who are they to tell me where I am from?

Who are they to tell me why I am here?

Who are they to tell me where I'm going? 

And who granted them this power other than the power before them? 

(They use fear to gain control and guilt to keep it)

I will decide my fate. I will create myself. My life story is of independence and FREEDOM from purpose. my values are derived from my heart. How could another person know what is right and wrong at the core of my personal existence? 

Censorship is the catalyst of corruption. 

I will never be confined by the chains of acceptance, because I will always accept what I am, and why. 

I will never live in fear of judgment because I have already decided who I am, and decided to love.

Nothing is everything. 

Aesthetics of Thursday

I like the art in cartoons that is left out of focus 

and fictional movies with realistic approaches

I like fog when it rests on hillsides in the distance

and iron bar balconies on small streets in big cities

I like observing couples on obvious first dates

and when people with bad posture remind me to stand straight

I like weird slang terms for drugs

and elongated hugs

I like when pets match their owners 

and vegan alternatives

I like the kids at school who are actual loners

I like peonies and baby's breath, but not as much as their names. 

I like people with wrinkles and stories to match.

I like penny lane

I like the way smoke looks in photographs

I like gypsy practices although I don't partake

I don't like swimming in pools but love swimming in lakes

I like the way spines look when protruding from skin.

And how shadows form shapes on those who are thin

I like the feeling that comes with incense and oil 

In truth I love baking with aluminum foil

I like the smell of herb when its citrusy and sweet

And the thoughts that come after that wondrous treat

I like friendships with meaning and genuine people

I like mosques with large round intricate steeples 

I like Buddhist philosophy and compassion for life

I like Irish music and the sound of a fife 

I like pillows with detail by open woodburning fires

and classic literature with quotes that inspire 

I like gentle people with peaceful intentions

And of course this whole world and all its inventions

Skewed Expectations

Don't be discouraged.
You see it's existed long before you did, our own state had traditions that formed laws which deserted common subconscious hope for equality.
With the beginning we didn't know it, but media today and the advertising surrounding it has provided a flame of unfairness.
We can see it now but we feel helpless.
How does one defend themselves in a world that's so reckless?
How can they expect us to respect us when the dictators of norms materialize and manifest us?

It will start when you're young.
Gender roles have always been prevalently spoken on societies tongue.
You have to wear pink, you are timid and gentle, you'll lose all the games but you'll be graceful. You can try to talk big but your words may as well not be spoken, because this isn't your world, you're just the world's token.

The start is the hardest because you still think highly of yourself; and why not, you are beautiful, smart, and full of potential. This is what you have to remember.
Though it's not easy to value the object they make you, keep going, disembody. And if you don't learn now the worth of who you are as a whole, even you will view the mirror as nothing but a figure.

It's unavoidable.

School tells you to cover your knees and your shoulders because the normality of your body's immorality has possessed them.
TV tells you to create yourself in the image of one woman the media has obsessed with, and that any variations don't deserve the success and the flawless that comes with being the princess and you're worthless.
Everywhere you look they tell you that you exist for one sexual purpose and your mind is meaningless so thank god for the body parts that provide them with the satisfaction your purpose provides. And it's different from attraction, which we're meant to see, if we didn't not recognize beauty when it walked passed us where would we be? But we don't.

They act like depersonalizing and objectifying isn't carnal behavior, and primal thinking.

They tell us beauty is a size, and virginity is worth, and love is submissive, and sexy is skin, and silence is value, and opinions are shit, and potential is absent because when you exist for desire who cares what you wish.

Now all these are lies and so don't be discouraged, the truth will reveal itself with self love and patience.

You don't have to smile and laugh when you're being harassed, or play along with the jokes about your breasts and your ass, you don't believe when you're told that your body is bold, it's not obscene to breast feed or dress for the hot or the cold, it's okay to be comfortable.
Don't accept physical comments, encourage talk on your mind. Open up so the world can see the genius you hide, and please take pride in being a girl because you're one of two kinds.

Remember as well that men aren't what is said. They have control of their minds and their bodies, they can see you as a complex personality with goals and desires such as any other. They can be sexually hurt too, don't discredit their pain. Society calls them dominant, that doesn't mean they don't change. The status quo is no definition. This is their bane.

Sexual objectification is a societal subconscious, but bring it to light and it will fade. Making sex subjects of everyone will save what is natural and again enhance the true meaning of beauty. Our bodies are praise worthy but not for their uses, for it's own natural state without use and abuses. Aphrodite and David showed us the treasure, lets not deplete the value using a scale and a measure.

At the end of the day we all want respect, so give and with time it will be received. See the heart and the essence of a person draped in the wonder of their natural state, this is beauty, not sex, this is fair, not complex.

Animals Are What Make Us Human

 

October Affecting

Everything is connected.

Love is achieved throughout all of our lives. Oh what love.

It does not come to us in one time stopping finite moment, it is everywhere, in everything. Love is always. You can find it in nature, in books, in them, in you.

When you find the parts of you that were misplaced upon your placement here, that is love.
Who shows this to you is love.

 Love is about ourselves, for love is the discovery of the connections that exist all around us. Everything is connected, oh what love.

We find love in places, in things, we find love in people. We can have love for anything upon learning how or why it is a part of us.

Relationships exist with or without love.
And love can happen before you are ready, it almost always will.

We can fall into love. We can try to fall out of it.

But love is a connection.

It existed before I noticed.
It happened  before we met.

It was and always has been because everything is connected and time is irrelevant when it comes to the quantity of everything. oh what love.

And we do not have to be intimate to experience love, for intimacy can exist whether or not a connection is acknowledged, or ever brought to the surface.

There is hate, the denial of being apart of it all, not knowing the oneness of our sprawl.
There is hurt because hate wants to take it away. Oh that pain.


But love is the most powerful.

Because everything is connected.

Love is enlightenment.

Oh what love.

Nostalgia ft. Wayne

He used to dress collectively

He is lucid
but not by Himself

He was kind to birds
because His spirit is one

His eyes were soft like the skin he once wore
that we bruised with gentle thumbs 

when speaking of those who influenced Him, He was at peace.
He spoke of his children with joy

He was wild
He is pure

He lived to discover

His perspective was always curious
He travelled within his chair

frequently, He asked

now He lives at the tree
we went to young and old


now He is with those in the gulch
beyond Himself He used to visit 


now He stays on the summit

antimaterally, He's befriended reed
materially He has sanctuary, here He is


He can breathe. 

For Uplifting in Respect to the Relationships of Fall Time

PLAYLIST #1:

1) Elliott Smith - Happiness

2) Bombay Bicycle Club - Ivy & Gold

3) Ben Kweller - Penny On The Traintrack

4) Mason Jennings - Tourist

5) Fruit Bats - When You Love Somebody

6) The Shins - New Slang 

7) Neutral Milk Hotel - The King Of Carrot Flowers pt. 2

8) Mason Jennings - Something About Your Love

9) Jesus, Etc. - Wilco 

10) Rilo Kiley - Silver Lining

11) The Weepies - Nobody Knows Me At All

12) Matt Costa - Oh Dear

13) Walking - The Dodo's

14) Fruit Bats - Feather Bed

15) Dr. Dog - The Breeze

Euphoria

Important to remember; life is the ultimate prerequisite. All that dictates the direction of life (properly, should) be based upon the values of the soul in which it exists, and a soul that exists exclusively to live. 

Next, in life there are connections and balance; throughout life connections and knowledge are formed. This is the what.

Connections come inherently in nature, to everything, fusing each and every molecule in a static network of energy, born from many sources but carried through them all. This is the why.
Connections are also born by behavior, a dictator of direction, in forms such as relationships and spirituality. Relationships happen amongst humans, to humans, to animals, or amongst animals, to humans or to animals.
 

Human complexity is based upon talent, which makes literature, cinematics, and music. This is important.

Balance, exists within and outside of everything, letting life continue. This is the how. 

Knowledge is made up of experiences and study. Without knowledge, direction would be lacking, making such education, ultimately, the when. Knowledge, like spirituality, takes us places, including ourselves. 

Values, therefore are by nature a part of life, and when adhered to, create purpose. But because life is a prerequiusite, it is the most valuable. 

This is important, because that is what this is all about.